Global Domination

Audio Autopsy - June 2013

01/06/13  ||  Global Domination

Overtorture: At the end the dead await

7.3/10

Habakuk: If you’ve never heard death metal, here’s your chance! 6

CadenZ: Massive, continent-sized slabs of death fucking metal. The stench of rot is strong in this one. 8

Sokaris: Our monthly dose of Swedish death isn’t as strong as some of those in the past but things are played competently enough here. Decent riffing but this dog needs a meaner bite. 7

Ironpants: This months eye-opener for me, great vocals and good solid death metal. This will do until the next “Bloodbath” comes out. 8

Amorphis: Circle

7.0/10

Habakuk: I want to like this more, but it has certainly been done better before. By Amorphis. The great leads keep it going though. 7

CadenZ: First half: more of the same half-hearted but decent material as on “The Beginning of Times”. Second half: NICE. FUCKEN NICE. 8

Sokaris: Another formidable offering from these legendary formless Finns. Gorgeous melodies, an increase in heaviness 8

Ironpants: To me Analmorphis is like my towel after an hour long sauna. Wet, heavy, steamy and smell like an old man’s butt crack. I’ve never fallen for their semi-sensual pseudo death metal. It ain’t bad, but it’s not good either. 5

F.K.Ü: 4: Rise of the mosh mongers

6.8/10

Habakuk: Try-hard thrash that’s just not too great. 6

CadenZ: Thrash ‘til death!!!! 6

Sokaris: Corny-as-hell comic book thrash. It’s party music but it’s served unpretentious and straightforward. Sometimes extra cheese hits the spot though. 6

Ironpants: Oh man, I love this! This album allows me to remember the good old days when thrash was the shit. Superb vocals with excellent songs. This is how you do it! 9

Stone Sour: House of gold & bones part 2

6.8/10

Habakuk: Your existence has been noted. 5

CadenZ: Ballads with depth, ball-crunching riffs, a modern drive and groove, and Taylor’s heart-on-a-sleeve voice on top of all that shit. Makes for a fucken great modern rock/pop/metal album. I wouldn’t have thought you could make music as accessible as this and still keep your balls and integrity intact. Kudos. Fucken huge kudos. 8

Sokaris: I was genuinely shocked by how much I didn’t completely hate Part 1 last time around. A bunch of curmudgeons like us definitely aren’t the target audience but I respect Stone Sour’s tendency to go all in. If they craft a hook they’re gonna push the hell out of it, if there’s a solo they go full on 80’s guitar hero and if there’s a ballad they’re gonna play it like they might never get laid again if they don’t moisten enough lady parts by the second verse. 6

Ironpants: Mr Corey Taylor and his soured stones surprise me again. Taylor is a fucken good singer, and the songwriting isn’t shabby at all. Emo music for grownups. 8

Finntroll: Blodsvept

6.5/10

Habakuk: Man, it’s been a while. This band sure is a lot better than their godawful imagery. 7

CadenZ: For every record, this gathering of trolls gets better. Once they were not much more than a curiosity, half a step above a novelty act, but with “Nifelvind” and now this album they show us some fucken awesome composing and arranging skills. The drive and energy is there, as well as the catchy hooks, the black humor, and the balls. Big, hairy, troll balls. 9

Sokaris: I think everyone knows what to expect at this point. I find that your average Finntroll song has a good tendency to have some brilliance in the songwriting but the lack of restraint that gives them their adventurous spirit also tends to make them sound really damn goofy in parts. 6

Ironpants: Like the seven dwarves in “Snow White”, Finntroll oompa loomps away with another record. A slightly better experience this time around as 2-3 songs was almost OK. 4

The Amenta: Flesh is heir

6.3/10

Habakuk: Tough guy screams his lungs out to make up for lack of purpose in band. 5

CadenZ: Lu-lu-lu-lu-lunatiiiicssssshhhhhhhaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! 6

Sokaris: I’ve not kept up with these guys since their decent, if one-dimensional debut “Occasus.” It seems the overall approach hasn’t changed but the focus is slightly more atmospheric and this makes a huge difference. It meanders a bit but there’s an enjoyable sense of unpredictability behind it all. 7

Ironpants: This is some interesting and fresh stuff. I like the atmosphere and industrial touch. For me it’s a keeper. I sense it will grow even more over time. 7

Killswitch Engage: Disarm the descent

5.8/10

Habakuk: These guys know their craft and nail it, but I guess I’m not a huge fan of it. 7

CadenZ: I choose to not hear the faint -core bits and focus on the surprisingly solid chunks of metal that are served. Great guitar playing, groovy yet precise. I think might be my favorite band in this genre, which sadly doesn’t count for much. 7

Sokaris: Killswitch Engage are easily one of the best bands of their kind. But bands of their kind tend to purvey in ultra watered-down overly hook-dependant tripe. 4

Ironpants: They have reeled in their original singer again and this time around they actually serve up some listenable stuff…if you are a girl or a kid. Props for keeping the core down and the metal up. 5

Sodom: Epitome of torture

5.3/10

Habakuk: Witch, Bitch, no sleep in Sodom. God, Shock, last night for Satan. Spell, Hell, this fight is blind. 5

CadenZ: George W. Bush called and wanted his IQ back. 4

Sokaris: Angelripper and crew soldier on to fairly decent results. There’s some expansion in the city of Sodom, land being developed in both melodic and aggressive territories. 6

Ironpants: I had very high expectations for this one, as with many other albums before. Another thing I’ve experienced several times before is disappointment. It’s astonishing how fast the human brain can shift feelings. 6

Deep Purple: Now what?!

5.0/10

Habakuk: How old are these guys again? Not bad, gramps, not bad. 7

CadenZ: Every other song sounds like DP are trying to re-invent “Perfect Strangers”, with mild success. At times their age is showing, but all in all this is a pretty decent hard rock album. 5

Sokaris: I always hate these. I have nothing bad to say about Deep Purple and there’s nothing really wrong with this. In fact some of the progressive flourishes are downright cool and it’s great that there’s still some crunch in the guitars. I’ll just never be a hard rock guy. 5

Ironpants: Derp People have been around since Jesus was a toddler and I respect them for that. But, hello, shouldn’t they have come up with something better than this in 8 years? On top of that they ask us “Now what?!” Shouldn’t they have asked themselves that question 8 years ago? Well, how about calling it a day, and move to Florida? 3

Suicidal Tendencies: 13

4.8/10

Habakuk: I really like them, from time to time. This album has its moments, too. But: if I hear the word “cyco” one more time, I won’t guarantee for anything. 6

CadenZ: Crappy, one-dimensional production job. Professional, tight, awesome musicians. Uneven songwriting and arrangements. Cool attitude and feel. I’d rather see ‘em live. 5

Sokaris: It’s been thirteen years since the last Suicidal Tendencies full length despite the band being active throughout. “13” emerges like a cicada brood (look it up and enjoy the nightmare fuel) except more unpleasant to listen to. 2

Ironpants: I wrote the review for this one some time ago, and when listening to it now, I feel exactly the same. But maybe a little bit better. 6

Volbeat: Outlaw gentlemen & shady ladies

4.3/10

Habakuk: If one band was the right one for a Western shtick, then it’s Volbeat. I am surprised how genuinely good this is. 8

CadenZ: I finally got it, singer Poulsen doesn’t sound like Elvis or Hetfield, he sounds like Cher! But wait, what’s this – sweet harmonies, falsetto and grit…ah, sorry, that’s just King Diamond doing a guest spot on “Room 24”, the by far best song on the album. The rest is some kind of mix between Van Halen-rock, pop chords, sub-par Metallica riffs and the vocalist hollering like a moonstruck witch from Eastwick who believes in life after love. 4

Sokaris: This is one of the most inoffensive bands I’ve ever heard here on Audio Autopsy. And that fucken offends me. 1

Ironpants: Volbeat suffers from the problem that they are only good when playing a style that isn’t their own. In this album it happens in the song “Room 24”. The rest is just singer Poulsen’s voice reassembling a baby seal being clubbed while you’re listening to mellow radio rock for pretend bikers and hard rock country dudes. They are also getting softer and softer for each album. Be gone! 4

Amaranthe: The nexus

3.5/10

Habakuk: How many layers of effects can you put on a single voice? Apart from that, decent, catchy femetal. 6

CadenZ: Eurovision Song Contest Metal (that rocks as much as a limp dick) with Yngwie solos (that rock your lips with a half stiffy!). I cringe and nod and hate and try to remember what being a man is while I do like some parts of this nonsense. 4

Sokaris: The first song has a dubstep breakdown. Take a retarded Soilwork, mix in the pop music from Final Fantasy and cram in whatever the go-to style of electronica is for a Microsoft commercial and… you quit reading at “dubstep breakdown” didn’t you? 2

Ironpants: Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! Do you wanna go for a ride? Sure Ken! Jump in. Restart electroheart, Deja vu I fall apart, life in plastic it’s fantastic! Oh, I’m having so much fun! Well Barbie, we’re just getting started. Oh, I love you Ken! <3 <3 <3 2

Queensrÿche: Frequency unknown

2.8/10

Habakuk: Not exactly terrible, but the re-recorded songs still have better songwriting. Bad sign. 5

CadenZ: More like “Urgency Unknown”. 3

Sokaris: Where’s the stupidly heavy stuff, Gee-off? I don’t count the Rob Zombie with erectile dysfunction boogie of “Slave” just for the record. There’s an okay sense for melody here and there and I could see some of the general ideas being salvaged… by throwing away everything else completely. This gets the lowest score possible for the amateur night karaoke re-recording of “I don’t believe in love” alone though. 1

Ironpants: I’m very curious about what went wrong here? Queensryche was a great band once, and then old Geoff took a crash-course in “The art of being a douche”. This is the lamest shit I’ve heard for some time. And as a true egocentric diva he tops it off with some re-recordings of older “hits”. Take a listen to “I don’t believe in love”, and tell me that I’m wrong. 2